Methods of expanding your motorcycle collection.

Key words of Wisdom & Methods of
Expanding your motorcycle collection.

Most important. Never Lie to the Mrs. It is too hard to remember.
During my many discussions with friends and acquaintances
They all seem somewhat bewildered, that we (My wife and I)
Possess so many motorbikes.
I thought it was quite normal to have 5-6 motor cycles.
Some of us do get a bit carried away & have ended up with a few more.

The questions start.
Why have you got so many? Why not.
Are you married? Yes.
What does your wife have to say about them? Plenty, at many times.
You can not ride more than one at a time. Correct.
What about registration costs? You can register for 1 day if you want.
How do I justify them? I am out of her hair. She has her own space. AND She knows where I am.
Do I get to see much of her and the kids?
Yeah. They only have to make an appointment with me in the garage.
What does the Mrs do while I work on bikes.
She does knitting and watches TV. I do not do reality TV or games show. I do not do trivial pursuits or dress up parties either.
So I might as well be in the garage.

Does the Mrs know about them all the bikes?
Well yes she does, [mostly]
But, She does seem to have some memory losses or lapses.
I have had occasions, when a bike appears out of the shed and I have been accused of secretly buying & lying.
The kids have got me out of the sh_t a few times.
YES she has been informed of all purchases and deals.

I have found Honesty is the best policy.
If you tell porkies, you have to have a bloody good memory.
If you tell the truth, you are only in the cr_p at differing levels.
I also believe memory retention has not been helped by all the 2 stroke smoke. [Castrol R is king]
So the upshot is.
If you have owned plenty of 2 strokes, do not tell the Mrs porkies.
If you rode Hondas. You may get away with it.
If you rode Pom Bombs. Your brains were probably shaken and not stirred. You think, Lord Lucas. [Prince of darkness] reigns supreme. Yeah right! For you riders. There is no help. God help you.

So how have I done it? What pearls of wisdom can I pass on.
How do I get away with it? Why do I need another bike?

Read the following.

It's an investment.
It's a bargain.
It's a kind of superannuation fund.
It is a piece of history.
If nobody else looks after them, & keeps them from going to the scrap heap, then they will disappear forever. Iam a Saviour.
I am a custodian looking after history,
Like snails and whales and Moa's.
for the future benefit of all children.
It will become a family heirloom.
It is desirable.
It is a fine piece of art work.
It is functional artwork we can use.
It will give me something to help expand my outlook on life.
It is a challenge which a male needs.
I will become computer savvy sourcing information [& parts].
I need to know I still have the ability to do these things.
It will keep you from the pub.
It will keep you from chasing the cook around the kitchen.
[Well, for some of the time]


Other statements you must be prepared for.

Why should you get another bike?
Why should I [The worker] not get another bike.
She says she has to look after the kids 24/7.
Why should I get to play and waste money. Do my own thing?
I have to provide for my family, Why should I not enjoy a bit of my money I provide for you all to use.
I am crazy & want to buy some old unsafe bike, and maybe kill myself.
She says she had to carry the kids for 9 months & does not think that is fair for her to worry, why I keep cheating death.
I say I have carried all of you forever, after that 9 months.
I need to distress & unwind.

The following helps, if you have a business [Even a rental property.]
Buy the bike as your company vehicle for, inspections or quoting jobs. Think of the time you will save, getting from job to job or to work in the traffic. You will be home on time, for tea.

I have found Bribery and Corruption can work.

If you have an old banger car, which is half knackered.
Use this as leverage.
If she can get a new car, surely you can use this to your advantage to buy an old Jap classic,
which is an investment. Get her why she is weak. Take advantage of the situation.

So in conclusion.

You need to know, how your lady works.
Mission impossible I hear you all shouting.
Not so, I say.

Be honest and keep her well informed.
Use all of the preceding details.
Invite her to be engaged. Get her involved.
Tell her all about the bikes and even their shortcomings.
Then you start dropping hints or eluding to the new bike on your radar. She will accept it much more readily.
After a while, She will turn off. Then you have got her.
she will just agree and the deal is done with her knowing.
Yet not understanding that she has said. Oh OK.

You have beaten a woman, at a woman's own game. (Mental telepathy.)

Thus we blokes are finally on a par with her for a change,
This time we win.
Remember the L'Oreal advert.
You deserve it. You owe it to yourself.
New bike in garage. Mission accomplished.

So why shouldn't you have another bike?

Remember.
The more you have, the easier it is, to get another.
The more you have, the cheaper they relatively are.

A Blonde once explained to me.
If 10 bikes, are in your garage.
Using the space available.
Then each bike uses 10% of the area available.
But, if you have 20 bikes.
Each one only takes up 5% of the space.
Since we pay rent or rates.
Then each bike now costs relatively less.
So, the more you have the cheaper they are.
Obvious.!!

Now, what else is on the wish. Opps shopping list!!

Author Unknown. Ace map reader and crystal ball gazer.